Native Conservative-Talks About Enemy of the People

6D311A6E-BA78-4EB3-907F-52F78ADFAE3F.pngWhile I would agree with just about everything Erickson stated in his article run on 08/18/18 in the Daily Wire titled “Erickson: The Press As An Enemy” there is one point I would contend. “The truth is the American press is not the enemy of the people, but is its own worst enemy.”

I believe this to be a partial truth.  The fact is yes, they are their own worst enemy. But the very first segment about being an enemy of the people I would disagree. 

When we look at the basis of what journalism and news should entail, it should be a unbiased accounting of events or facts shared with the people. There are very few true journalists left. What we have are an entire gaggle of political pundits, propaganda pushers of either persuasion, and sadly the dramatics and the breaking story wins. It’s not accuracy, no consideration as to whether a story can have implications on life or death. It’s just run with it -come what may as long as we get the most clicks, best ratings. Hell I don’t care if my source is full of crap—because this!! This story helps further the political agenda I want!!! My God!! Sure I issued a correction. But people won’t remember those. They’ll remember my headline.” 


People wonder why Trump won. It’s because he calls things  as he sees it and people love it! Because they are sick and tired of the onslaught. Honest to goodness journalism and reporting is refreshing. Being blunt and forthcoming about one’s intentions is very appealing. Why do you think people like Ben Shapiro, Diamond and Silk, Candace Owens, and Jordan Peterson. They are reaching the masses but not just reaching them- they are inspiring them. They speak from the heart, they don’t hold back and they are like many of us saying the thing we all want to say  or saying the things we want to hear.  Sure some are intellectual dynamos  but more important is the fact they are sincere and they speak from the heart.

But I digress. So how are the some of the press the enemy of the people? Some are clearly the enemy of the President, our commander in chief.  It doesn’t take but a minute to see what the political bent of a newspaper is. Heck they recently  launched a coordinated editorial attack against him.  Ever he was elected  there has been more negative coverage than positive to the point of absurdity. While a President doesn’t need glowing reviews they fail to report on his success and beat a dead horse that honestly most at this point doubt even was ever a horse! The headlines might as well all be the same. They all scream the same glaring things.

Never in my life have I seen the intensity of hatred of a President been so pronounced and it has bled into anyone who supports him.3888BFD0-64C8-4211-A4A7-736079A0B3D9 I believe the surprise and shockwaves felt in the newsrooms around the country on Election night were the beginning. At first they said how could we have missed this so badly? We didn’t listen to the people. And they aren’t listening now. 

They are continuing with their plans. A fundamental transformation of America. It was clearly rejected by the people in 2016.  Yet the push goes on. Against the will of the people. The mainstream media, for the most part, is an arm of the left wing and anyone who says otherwise is either lying or dim. Sure there are moments of objective journalism in the nightly news or across ones screen, but they grow fewer and and far between.  Its an ideological war we are watching. Waged on our televisions, screens and phones. The five-star generals are the editors, the television political pundits and journalists are majors and we civilians are the infantry. We are engrossed in a civil war of sorts. Not fighting for land but for beliefs. The division is so vast the ability or willingness to compromise or even debate has been lost. The first reaction to a person of ideological difference culture evere is now violence. We have Antifa calling friends or bullets for conservatives. That is the enemy of the people. 

We have black conservatives accosted having breakfast. There is no meaningful discussion; we see left wingers blowing whistles in the face of a black conservative woman simply for speaking her mind. That is the enemy of the people. 

What would Martin Luther King say to that scenario? How disgusted would he be? I would think he fought for rights only to see people who say they support those rights make a mockery of them. That is the enemy of the people.  I was just told on a twitter post the I was “supporting racism” because I supported the confirmation of Bret Kavanaugh. Now I fail to see the correlation between supporting a constitutional conservative judge who will interpret not exercise judicial activism and racism. I get called so many names by Democrats. Truly disgusting names and horrid things all for my conservative beliefs. If I were espousing left-wing beliefs I’d be a friend. An ally!  This is the party of Diversity? Tolerance? Inclusion? I also just saw a black person post this:

“Not one Republican called me an “Uncle Tom”.

Not one Republican called me a “coon”.

Not one Republican called me a “sellout”.

Not one Republican called me a self-hating racist, or a bigot, or a homophobe.” – David, #WalkAway 🇺🇸

This couldn’t be more true for me as well. But you can insert Native for Black. The people that say these horrid things—-these are enemies of the people. These are not American ideals. 

Governor Cuomo has said America was never really that great. Even with all of our flaws, America has been the shining beacon that many have flocked to, looked to for help and aspired to be like. Now I can say with a certain heart that I’m proud to be an American. Like every country (human) we have things in our history that we look back on and realize that was *not* our shining moment. I believe we are going through some of those now. When we have sitting governors, senators, entertainers and people of influence calling for harassment, beckoning and if not calling for it-gleefully clapping their hands at violence towards those that simply do not think the way they do. 

In my life and in my family history I have first hand what happens by using violence and forcing someone else to think differently. By shoving a different culture and ideology down the throat of another so to speak.  My grandmother was a small girl when she was taken from her village and brought to a boarding school. She was beaten for speaking her native language, wearing her native dress, eating her food. When we see the death of our culture it is a heart wrenching thing. But our grandmothers wanted to make sure we fit in. I see a resurgence now of culture and that warms my heart. I see other minority groups calling for reparations for things transpired hundreds of years ago and treating whites with hostility because of something their ancestors did. Not one person alive is responsible for what happened to my grandmother. And honestly if they were-what would I do? Beat up an old person? My grandmother taught me to be a forgiving and caring person. That is not what growth as a human being is all about. 

I see the hatred in so many people these days. Full of vitriol and angst at a whole segment of the population. This is the enemy of the people and if the press is party to it then they are complicit and engaged in a war. This war, the war of ideals has been going on for thousands of years in other lands. We have just added our own. 




Articles for Advocacy

This article is a tremendous eye opener for some who have just listened to the information fed to them en masse.

I will add more to this blog post as time goes on  I hope these are helpful with any advocacy you might do



A Painful Chronic Illness – My Journey

By Marcy Sowers

No one I ever know expects to be debilitated.  No one I have ever met dreams of growing up with an addiction or need for pain medication.  10 years ago I was a physically active, busy single mom.  I raised three children by myself for many years, worked full-time, and didn’t have a moment where I sat down to rest until the end of the day.  I was a substance abuse counselor, and I had become highly proficient at conducting assessments.  I would type the majority of my assessments as I met with my clients and the last full-time position I held was as a substance abuse counselor in a maximum-security prison.

Prior to this I had odd medical issues come up over the years, a lot of back pain, hip pain, weird allergies, hives for no reason (and I am talking full-blown fat lip allergic reaction out of nowhere), migraines, Alopetia Areata.  My back first went out when I was 22 working at the bank.  I bent over to get a tray of coins out of my coin vault, and my back completely went out.  It took a week to recover and that was my first experience with not being able to walk because of my back or joints.

By the time I was 40, I was completely and utterly at a loss for what was going on with me medically.  I spent the next several years trying to figure things out with my doctors (who honestly didn’t delve very deep or, I believe, look at the whole picture.)  Had they given a more detailed look, I might have avoided an auto-fused thoracic spine.  This disease horrifes me when I think of my children and pray to God that none of them end up with the same type of issues I did.  My sister is currently experiencing severe back pain and bone spurs.  I am thankful I am aware of what to look for and can help them if need be.  I went to many specialists, including Virginia Mason in Seattle trying to find some answers to the issues I was having.  The most telling thing from that particular foray into a diagnosis was that I was positive for Anti-Alpha Fodrin IgA (uncommon) and that I had no detectable levels of B2 in my system, which was very for odd for a Western Diet.

My disease fully manifested itself in 2010.  I was not able to walk, and had severe IMG_7751stabbing pain as if a joint was broken.  It didn’t just affect my feet/ankles, but it also affected my hands.  I would find myself unable to hold a cup of coffee or even a fork to eat.  This pain was so debilitating I was at a loss.  I had never been one to sit on the sidelines at my kids’ events.  I was on the go, recently remarried and completely perplexed.  I couldn’t fish anymore, for any length of time.  Sure, we have photos of me fishing, but gone were the days of me holding the fishing rod, fighting the fish to the boat.  I couldn’t do it anymore; I could take a picture and hand off the rod and reel – something I would have never done before.  My joints and my back were even far worse than ever before.  I spent so much time battling pain it consumed my life.

I ended up having my C5-C7 spine fused at the native hospital on 01/31/2013.  The surgeon there told me that if he could he would fuse the entire thing as he could tell the necksurgery1entire neck would deteriorate and it was just a matter of time. After the surgery I followed up with the PA at the native hospital.  Now I will tell you that almost ever appointment I had in the recent years I asked someone to accompany me.  I had become jaded with the care I was receiving and saw too many instances of the clinic utterly failing others.  I somewhat joked that if I could be the Erin Brokovich of native healthcare I would.  And if my body had the energy I would have.  But I had to focus on myself first.  I couldn’t help a single person if I wasn’t in a better place.

The PA told me after my surgery, upon physical examination, that my neck wouldn’t heal if I remained as locked up as I was.  He told me my back muscles felt like cement and my healing wouldn’t improve.  He prescribed a short course of pain medications and a benzodiazepine for muscle relaxation.  I followed through with every recommendation, physical therapy and so forth.  Several months later I was experiencing daily migraines.  I had always been susceptible to migraines but this was out of this world in the experience.  This was daily – crawl away and want to die type of migraines that did not appear to want to go away.  I continued to follow up with the native clinic and wanted answers why this was happening.

I was told that it was simply failed back surgery.  I told the doctor that the pain medication wasn’t helping so he prescribed me Meloxicam.  (Meloxicam is a strong NSAID).  This did nothing to alleviate my pain.  It helped for a very short period of time and I suffered many hours of pain.  I continued to struggle with the migraines.  He gave me one course of valium, which helped my muscles a bit but did nothing to quell the ever-present migraines that were plaguing me, in addition to the joint and back pain I had been suffering for several years now.

Now I could respect my doctor’s concern about opiate addiction; I had seen enough destruction by opiate (heroin and illicit use of opiates) in my career as a substance abuse counselor IMG_4280.JPGto be very cautious about the use of these medications.  But I also couldn’t function as a human being with any level of quality of life without some type of pain relief.  I had three children in school, all very busy children and I was running between football, tennis, volleyball, student government meetings and three different schools.  I was also the kind of mom who even in the worst of pain would make a full meal for dinner.  Now I have never been one for packaged meals or pre-made food.  Going to McDonalds was a yearly event for the kids and I.  I refused to give them crap food even when I was in pain.

At one of my earliest doctor appointments about my joint pain, I explained to the PA that I had severe joint pain and swelling, around the joints, but not the joints themselves.  She chastised me and told me it was probably too much sodium in my diet.  That prepared foods contain a lot of sodium.  I was a bit miffed because she assumed that I fed my family a diet full of packaged foods and fast food.  She then insinuated that it was too much soy sauce in my diet.  I was more than perturbed because I had made a conscious effort to not only avoid those things but to limit even soy sauce in our household. We used Bragg’s Amino Acids on our rice.  This was the first time I had really experienced racial stereotyping or racial profiling as it were. aside from people in high school being jerks that I was accepted into Stanford because I was native.

And this was the *native* clinic.  I had so many bad experiences over the years in the native clinic I never went without a witness.  I had seen my friends father be sent home with a stroke with ibuprofen. Thankfully his family took him to the ER instead, and sadly the effects of the stroke lingered and we will never know if it was from lack of rapid response.  I saw my uncle who had just been at the native clinic about a sore on his leg—and sent home—the same day wind up in Intensive Care and ended up staying for a week.  I had been chastised by a PA, for wearing a walking boot whebootn my joint pain was so severe I couldn’t walk.  Normally I had episodes where just one foot was in severe pain but this instance I had both and I couldn’t put pressure unassisted on both of my feet at the same time.  I remember being pushed out of the clinic in a wheelchair crying.  The nurse whispered to me, “Use them if it helps and don’t bother with what she said.”  Several years later I felt “vindicated” by my podiatrist not only giving me two boots to wear and telling me my instinct to wear them was the right treatment but it didn’t do a thing for the shame and pain I suffered for years before.

I cried more hours than you can imagine that year in dealing with the migraines.  We had the opportunity to move to Wasilla due to my husband’s job which was in the Arctic.  He flew back and forth every two weeks from Juneau to Kuparuk, AK, and the cost of the flight to Anchorage was a big one.  We took the chance when our lease needed renewal.  Instead of signing on for one more year we chose to relocate.  We only had one child at home at the time and were happy to stop paying several hundred every month for airfare.  We wanted to purchase a home and the cost of living in Juneau was exorbitant.  So we found a place to rent in the Mat-Su Valley, giving us a year to figure out where in the Valley we truly wanted to live.

During the packing up of our home I threw my back/neck out.  I called my doctor to see if he could see me, but his nurse told me he was away in Italy.  Now anyone who has had to sit at the native clinic knows that if you go in you could be in and out, or you could be sitting in the lobby for hours, especially if you didn’t have a scheduled appointment.  So with the short time period we had I opted to go to the Urgent Care.  The physician there gave me a prescription for one week’s worth of pain medication and muscle relaxers.  I was completely okay with that as I knew that was more than enough time and I could see the native clinic up in Wasilla once we got settled.  Which I promptly did after we arrived and got into our new home.

The native clinic here told me that I wouldn’t be getting my regular medications (Tramadol for pain) any more. I had been deemed by the Opiate Review Board to be a drug seeker.  My going to the Urgent Care prompted a review of me and in it they listed my scheduled follow up appointments with the surgical team as drug-seeking appointments.  Mind you I never asked for pain medication, the PA prescribed them to me based on his assessment after physical examination and told me if I didn’t get the back loosened up it couldn’t heal.  They also said that I had failed UA tests in the past.  I had never been approached about failed UAs.  I know that if they had I could have said what the issue was.  I had battled migraines for several months and had been given prescriptions for pain medication for them.  I almost never used the entire amount prescribed, but saved them for a future migraine. Had I been asked I could have said “Yes I had a few left from my last migraine and took them on a later date.”  I was never told not to do that, and honestly sitting for hours in the native clinic was not the top of my list of things to do in a busy household.  So if I could treat myself and I was using the medication as it was intended, to treat a migraine, not get high, I would have been able to actually explain what happened.  However NOT ONCE did anyone ask me about any of that.

I can say with certainty that this was one of the best forced decisions of my life, to leave the native healthcare system.  They had not looked any further into my neck/back pain.  I was told that Tramadol was a safe medication at the time and honestly it was so horrific to stop I pray that no one I ever care about takes it.  They are uncertain about the mechanism of action in Tramadol; it affects serotonin reuptake and I will never take it again in my life.

I reached out to new physicians and a pain management doctor.  I went in openly and explained how much pain I was in, not only in my joints but in my neck and back.  The doctor was very thorough, explained a lot to me that I had never had explained before, and took my pain seriously.  I had never been one to respond to medications the way most people do and I requested that I get the genetic testing to determine which medications I don’t process.  Lo and behold I was an intermediate metabolizer for two separate CYP categories.  This explained why some pain medications didn’t work or work well for me, why Meloxicam (a very strong NSAID) did nothing.  But more importantly she determined that I did indeed need surgery again on my neck.  So she set out to refer me to a physician.  The first surgeon took one look at my referral and history (now including drug seeker from the native clinic) and didn’t even bother to schedule an appointment to talk to me.

secondsurgerySeveral months later she found a surgeon to look at my case.  He had MRIs and X-rays taken and met with us.  My C4-C5 had been ruptured, and by the looks of it, had been for a long time.  I had been going to physical therapy and every time my PT would work on me he would need to use a metal bar to help “beat” my muscles into submission to get them to relax.  However quite often I had such severe pain in my neck that I would feel as though I would throw up when they pressed on it.  I lived on Zofran, an anti-nausea medication and I followed everything they told me to do.  The new surgeon, after looking at my completely collapsed disk, which was pressing on my spinal cord, scheduled me in his very next available surgery slot.

When he did the surgery he discovered that a piece of the disk and broken off and was lodged between a nerve and a muscle.  This explained the severe pain any time pressure was placed on that area and why I wanted to throw up. In fact my surgeon told me right then that I “had a very real reason for my pain, it had been that way for a while. This was validation of my complaints, legitimacy to my pain and as bittersweet as it was I still had an incorrect label attached to me


The recovery was a long one with my autoimmune issues also rearing themselves.  We discovered that I healed better with steroids involved.  I was finally starting to feel relief and didn’t have the daily migraines.  The native clinic had dismissed me for almost 8 months. I battled another 8 months of daily migraines while trying to establish that I wasn’t full of crap, that I did have legitimate pain and thankfully the surgery taking the disk off my spinal cord gave me the LONG awaited relief I needed.

I continued to have back pain and sharp stabbing pain in my pubic bone.  One of the ways my autoimmune affects me is gastrointestinal issues. I had battled daily chronic diarrhea and I was referred to a surgeon to do a colonoscopy.  The surgeon did an MRI of my abdomen before aSIjoint2nd the radiologist saw a mass in my mediastinal area.  They rescanned me to get a view of my chest and in it they saw that my thoracic had fused. I had what appeared to be shark fin shaped bone spurs growing everywhere into my lung area.  This led my spinal surgeon to ask my other doctors if I possibly had Ankylosing Spondylitis.  I myspinemean, the spine usually doesn’t fuse, it doesn’t usually create shark fins growing into the spine, and the deterioration and pain in my SI joint and hips all along could be related.

Ultimately I ended up with an Ankylosing Spondylitis diagnosis. This painful chronic disease has no cure.  The standard treatment are NSAIDS and Disease Modifying Drugs or biolgoics, some of which I happen to not metabolize very well (as in I metabolize them far differently than most), and suddenly all things started to become clear.  My back pain started in my twenties and the symptoms I had suffered finally made sense.  Despite years of back problems, strange symptoms the native clinic completely brushed it off.  All the strange autoimmune reactions that I had, pain and swelling, the severe GI tract issues, the water retention – it all fell into place.  I can only imagine what my life would have been like had I been diagnosed and treated early but I really can’t even allow myself that luxury.  The anger would be too great.  I hated the native system for pushing me off as a crackpot, for deeming me an opiate seeker without **even looking** at my spine which was actually pressing on my spinal cord.

I fought a battle that no one took seriously; many providers assumed I was full of shit and didn’t take the pain I was in seriously. I cannot condone their dismissal, nor can I accept that their assumptions which were based on a preponderance of evidence skewed to support the idea that I was indeed a drug seeker.  I have no problem admitting where I’ve had issues and fully accept responsibility for things based on fact and truth. But I have never been addicted to a substance other than nicotine or caffeine. I abused alcohol when I was younger but I stopped that long before I was 25.  If I at any time truly felt I was an addict I would seek treatment. Anyone who truly knows me knows I can’t even drive the wrong way in a parking lot. I’d be such a wreck if I was just out to get high id check myself into treatment.   The worst part for me was that I never even got the chance to be formally evaluated and contest their claims. The funniest part about all this is that given my work experience, had I actually wanted to I could have found drugs outside the medical system, but I never just wanted drugs.  Sure I wanted, and on a humane level deserved relief, but more than anything I wanted answers and appropriate treatment.  But that was not to be had in the native system; I was just another low-life drug-seeking person in their eyes with NO real problem except being overweight, begging for pain meds (not heard begging for answers), and I was pushed in and out without serious thought to the issues.

I worked diligently to show my providers I wasn’t just a drug-seeking addict over the years.  During this we have learned that I can only take certain medications based on my metabolism.  My allergies to things only continue to grow and added to the laundry list of medications that can cause severe allergic reactions you can now add to it adhesives.  The wrong bandage can cause me to feel as though I cannot breathe.  My ribs don’t fully expand either due to the fusion of my thoracic so extra care is taken when I am in surgeries.

The constant pain of my joints and neck are still there.  I had a few years reprieve after the second neck surgery, but back again is the constant and nagging, wearing pain in my neck.  There is some deterioration of my C4-C3 and it bulges slightly. I am afraid that I will end up with my entire neck fused, and actually hope that some of that can relieve some of the pain I live with daily.  I take buprenorphine daily for pain, and it allows me to clean house, make meals, walk the dogs, plant a few flowers.  But this level of pain is something that I live with all the time.  I don’t think I even really know what a life without pain is.  I cannot imagine it. I live with pain so great I think it might drive others mad if they experienced it suddenly without the long build up of pain tolerance that I have had the misfortune of experiencing.

I find myself hating the drug abusers who get high.  I find myself hating that I spent so many years helping people who make it harder for me at this time to get legitimate pain relief.  I hate the very idea of being catalogued into that group.  But guess what?  There is no cataloging of people who live with a very painful chronic illness.  To the world at dt_150319_chronic_pain_headache_migraine_800x600large we are nothing but drug seekers.  Cancer pain, is the only real pain that people who sufferers it deserve treatment.  Having battled both cancer and chronic pain I can tell you that – pain is pain.  It didn’t matter what kind of pain it was—it still hurt.  But apparently one is legitimate and the other well—is just something people should suck up and deal with.  I have battled and fought cancer myself.  I spent months being dismissed with extreme fatigue, change in my bowels, change in my mood, body temperature, blood pressure and I had cancer all along.   But the labels from the past just follow you and don’t lend themselves to being taken seriously—until someone else discovers a tumor growing.

These painful illnesses affect everyone in our lives, our spouses, our children, family and friends.  We do not have a world of folk advocating for us.  We have ourselves, armed with the knowledge of our diseases and essentially are overlooked in the massive push for legislation and market reforms.  Insurance companies dictate who, what are how we are treated based on formulas and denials abound.  We fight these things on a daily basis and there is no outcry to help us.  We are treated the very same way opiate addicts on the street are by many.  This makes little to no sense to me.  I used to be appalled at the idea of “death panels” but they do exist, death by a thousand cuts—this med is no longer approved, one is approved but denied later and guess what? Interruption of that medication can sometimes result in the loss of efficacy.  So that denial was effective in stopping an expensive treatment that was working leaving me with a search for another.  We do have to fight for every ounce of care.  There is not one person I know who has been affected by a painful chronic illness that wouldn’t trade it all in for health, the ability to work every day and no pain.  But we do not have the choice or the luxury.

There are many people with debilitating chronic illnesses that get lumped into the same categories as people who use pain medication for recreation, to soothe their psychological pain and simply because they love the high.  I have never “loved” the high-I resented having a need for the medication to function and there was no pleasure in it, only relief of pain.  The only thing I have ever wanted was a bit of relief from the incessant pain in my body.  There is no greater loss than the loss of self-worth and you can imagine that battle is one that someone who is ill must fight all the time.  What I wouldn’t give to go back 15 years, treatment - Copyand even with back pain, I’d love to remember what it is like to go all day and night without stopping, without constant pain.  My former life has been stripped away from me and it is something I had to grieve and mourn and come to terms with where I am now.  I don’t want to be here but I have no choice, and the only choice I have is to make do with every day and do the best I can.

This fight is a real one and I am so very tired.  Who will take up the cause?  Who cares enough to fight for people who have to fight to get out of bed every day, when we have to chose between vacuuming or cooking dinner as the extent of our abilities for the day?  When showering is too much physical pain to consider, but we do it anyway because of course we have to.  We are seen as lazy drains on society.  Our loved ones look at us differently.  We lose so much of who we are, the dreams we planned, and it takes it’s toll.  We lose more things than just our physical abilities.  We lose the things everyone takes for granted.  I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.  But I haven’t given up and I will keep up the fight as long as I am able.  Human strength comes in many forms and I hope I never lose mine.

The Growing Divide

Our country has been polarized before. This is nothing new.  We can look back through history and find times where divisive issues have wreaked havoc upon our nation, just think back to: Revolutionary War, Civil War, , the Civil Rights movement, Vietnam—just to name a few.  We are currently in a time of such division that I can’t think of anything, except an all-out attack on our country that could bring us together.  barAnd even then I am not sure that it would be the glue that binds us, sadly.  In the past it seems that something big had to happen in order to bring us back to center and standing together.  But why do we have to wait for tragedy?  I mean you will not get what you don’t ask for.  We need to start holding the bar higher.

So many times before our country has been divided on issues.  But this divide just keeps growing and is becoming a chasm.  The divide is reaching further andchasm further and bleeding into other issues.  Just the other day I saw a headline that a national news media person stated that rural America is a “core threat” to our democracy.  Now if this is not an us vs. them type of mentality at its best I have no idea what is.  The issue was rural America having the electoral influence as the heavily populated states and cities.  The cohesive “We are Americans” is faltering.  And I blame it mostly on liberal ideology.

The focus on labels and “making things fair/redistribution of wealth” has been a detriment to our society.  There is a growing racial divide that no one wants to talk about very much except to point the finger at white people.  I am an Alaskan Native mix (both white and native).  I have the ability to see both sides of the coin here and I can tell you that I am disgusted with the behavior of people these days.  The news headlines are constantly filled with racially based zingers that any editor of integrity should not publish, we do not need to encourage more racial divide in our country.  We have enough.  Just recently a professor went on national news to discuss his article and whether or not his children (black) could be friends with white kids.  This really sickened me.


Had the tables been turned and a white person got on the air and defended his article “Can my white kids be friends with your black kids” the outrage would have been horrific.  They would have called to an end of his tenure—until he lost his job.  He would have received death threats at work, home, and his family would be subject to the worst sorts of behavior.  But given that he was talking about white people, it was “acceptable” to print.  What makes it okay to be racist towards white people? I am half white, married to a white man, with a white father and an entire half a family who is white.  Do I shun them because I am also native?  We need to demand equal treatment, hold the same standards no matter the race.  I have long hated the fact that there is such a different standards for people of color.  Allowing this just foments more racism.

You see the problem here is that our country has given a pass to certain types of behavior as long as it is supported by a certain ideology—and condemns others based on their beliefs.  I believe we as a society need to draw a red line in the sand.  This is not something we can waiver on.  This adversarial, hostile and bigoted mentality has to go—on any side.  To If you find it acceptable in one scenario but abhorrent in another—you are the epitome of a bigot. 


Maybe it’s time people started checking their own selves for bigotry.  Morgan Freeman said it best when talking about racism, “Stop talking about it.” This constant attack on one thing/person or the other is nothing but keeping racism, class warfare, bigotry and our country down.  We live in America the land of opportunity (no micro-aggression there, seriously-if it were not the land of opportunity, then why do we have we not had people flocking to enter our country?), where you alone are responsible for your success.

People need to quit blaming white people, corporations and anyone else they can on their misfortunes. Life is not fair, it was never meant to be fair.  How we chose respond and live our lives is another story.  You alone are responsible for your success, your conduct and your choices.  Are you down with ending the double standards? What do you chose?

Until Next Time!

Marcy Sowers

My Biggest Pet Peeve!

My biggest pet peeve!  Premiums in the US are topping out at near 40K for a family.  My family’s insurance premiums have gone up dramatically.  Our premiums have gone up by so much I cannot even grasp the change.  I have had to make dramatic changes in the way I manage our finances.  All the while I have been managing to cope with cancer surgery, radiation treatment and the ongoing treatment I have for a chronic, painful debilitating illness, Ankylosying Spondylitis (AS) for which there is no cure.
AS erodes bone where it shouldn’t and builds it where it should not.  I have what appears to be shark fins of bone growing into my abdominal area, lung cavity from my vertebrae, my thoracic is fused and my lungs can no longer expand.  My cervical spine is mechanically fused due to it deteriorating so badly.  I have deterioration in my SI joint.  I have bone growing in my feet where it shouldn’t making it painful to walk, my hands–making it painful to hold things.  You name it I have problems.

Infusion treatment – I no longer am receiving biologic treatment because I got pneumonia for almost 3 months. It’s a no go!

I have been grateful that we can afford to pay our premiums and the only way that has happened is that my husband has been working 3/1’s up on the slope.  So looking at our situation, it breaks my heart when I think about is the families out there that are not able to manage.  What I cannot stand is that liberals pen conservatives as people who do not care about others.  Nothing could be further from the truth and we need to change that, not by a PR campaign, that will help but with action to change our current broken system.

All of these things have dramatically changed our life. Prior to passing of Obamacare I was an avid opponent to the idea. Having had to experience IHS (native healthcare) for a period of time when I was not able to work and had to rely on a government run plan. I could see what type of care could be the result. I had always worked, carried my own insurance, and had seen the truly unbelievable apathy of the healthcare workers.

I know that veterans also had similar responses from their VA experiences.  I know a lot of them go through this too.  This nightmare inflicted on Americans by liberals who think they will do better are just chasing a pipe dream that sadly is just that. A pipe dream. One built up in the heads of academia and liberal America that sounds good but doesn’t work out in real life.
Can you imagine being told that my


joint swelling and pain was a result of too much soy sauce in my diet, without any tests, any real investigation into my symptoms?  At one appointment early on in my disease, at that native clinic,  this is what I was told.  This was a slap in the face.  The hardest thing now is knowing that had I been taken seriously and treated instead of disregarding my symptoms if they weren’t explainable by very little (or no) investigation –  perhaps my thoracic spine would NOT have auto-fused and I might still be working today.  And what I wouldn’t give to be doing that!

deyfunkyIn fact, the native system disregarded me to the point that they neglected to even look at my neck when I told them it was severely painful after my first cervical fusion.  They claimed I simply had failed surgery–labeled me seeking pain medication and wrote me off.  However had they looked they would have seen my disk above the fusion they did had ruptured, was pressing against my spinal cord and a ruptured chunk of my disk was lodged between a nerve and a muscle. Fortunately we moved to Wasilla and had access to private insurance again.  I underwent surgery the next slot the surgeon had once he saw my films.  Can you imagine my disgust?

For those that know me, know that the idea that I was pain med seeking is laughable.  For those that don’t let me give you a bit of a history about me.  I started working in non-profits in Juneau, AK in 1994.  In 1995 I started working at Tongass Community Counseling Center.  I did such an outstanding job with clients that I was encouraged by all clinical staff to begin my training to be a substance abuse counselor.  So I did.  Having no native substance abuse counselors at the time in our community I felt compelled to be part of the solution.

I quickly excelled in my abilities as a counselor and was commended by the State of Alaska auditors for my assessment work and treatment plan development while at Gastineau Human Services.  I also took that high level of expectation of assessment work to Clitheroe Center when I moved to Anchorage and raised the bar there.  My last full-time position was with Akeela working at the Lemon Creek Correctional Center as a substance abuse counselor in the prisons Intensive Outpatient Treatment program.  I loved my job and it pained me to leave it.  While I initially left that position to go back to school, because I have always wanted to do more – work harder- my health quickly degraded and I was unable to even do that.

Working harder has always run in my family.  I began working in parent’s businesses when I was 8 and often held 3 jobs as a youngster.  I loved working and even my disability judge acknowledged that prior to becoming ill I was a “workaholic.”  Just because I cannot doesn’t mean I still do not want to advocate for those who still can.  I know that so many want to work hard.  We need to set the stage for that to happen.  The current climate and Obamacare  and the economic principles will not allow it to succeed and the true way to reform should include NOT the government or insurance companies being the dictator of healthcare but a free market with patients and physicians in charge of care. Government does have a place and certain regulations should be set.  I will admit that the pre-existing conditions issue is a big one.

My pre-existing conditions that put me in this lovely high-risk, unwanted and unfortunately high cost segment of the population. This segment of the population will be what liberals will fight for tooth and nail and I hate being in that pool that they scream for.  Heck–I know that one way or another I will make it even if it were abolished-it’s not the government’s job to make my life comfortable sadly.  But by simply keeping that provision and manage a high-risk pool with capped premiums it could be accomplished.

I believe we need to open the market across state lines and make it reasonable for people to purchase plans without the excess requirements people do not need or even want. Then remove the employer mandate that has killed Americans full-time jobs. This needs to be a focal issue of what we ask for. Our economic health will not fully return on part-time wages.  Then and only then will we see a return of the full health of America.

I’ve been gone a while—but back again because–well I just don’t give up!
Until next time!

Take that you CRACKER!!!

Please read first:

Open Letter to the Three White Students Who Filed a Discrimination Complaint Against Their Black Teacher

I honestly have to say that I see a lot of hostility towards whites.  I see more racism these days than I have ever seen, rather sad.  If it were a minority who felt uncomfortable there would be a “diversity” training for all the parties involved…. and people would be screaming for some type of action.  I think it can’t be a one-sided type of argument.  And to say it’s okay for one group to feel discriminated against, to feel the classroom was a hostile environment—-and say it’s okay for them to feel like that because they haven’t been through the suffering that others have gone through?  That to me is a crock.  That’s eye for an eye and just plain wrong. 

Let’s make you white bastards squirm for all the crap that has gone on.  So these boys—lets just make them as uncomfortable as possible—yeah that’s the sure fire way to bridge the vast problems between races. 

“Because this is one classroom in your entire life. One speck of discomfort in an ocean that is your life of privilege. Because white supremacy dictates that your skin — and let’s not forget your maleness — will make things fundamentally easier for you than for a person (and especially a woman) of color. That feeling of being on the spot? Of being defined by the color of your skin? Of being blamed for things that other people of your color do, even if you have not done them yourself? That’s not a classroom for people of color. That’s life. There’s no walking out of class. There’s no transferring to a different professor. There is only more of the same, with the hope that dialogue, education, and activism will pull the collective ostrich head from the ground, bit by bit, until that structural racism that you don’t like talking about is eradicated.” 

So, assuming they have had an easy life (based on the color of their skin) is racist itself.  I think the whole article really fumed me.  It’s thinking like this that makes me want to vomit.  NO ONE deserves to be treated badly due to their skin color and justifying it in any way shape or form and saying that those boys should just endure because of their white privilege is ridiculous.  I am tired of fueling racial divide and fires. 

Making a generalization about what these young Caucasian boys have been like (white privilege blah–dee-fuckin blah keep saying it so you feel better about how you treat people?) Racism against whites is practically condoned these days and I am quite sick of it.  I see so many times where the news is slanted.  A black is slain by a non-black and everyone is in an uproar.  A white is slain by a black and it barely makes the news AND the attacker’s race is not mentioned.  A white baby is shot in the face by some blacks and there is NO HUGE outcry.  There has been so much focus on race and making white people look bad that

The author talk about people pulling their ostrich head out of the ground, bit by bit.  I see so many minorities with their heads in the damn fucking sand—-just as well.  I am tired of seeing racist and bullshit comments on either side of the fence to condone one side behaving poorly while condemning another is the epitome of BIGOTRY.  Knock that shit the hell off. 


Value and love one another for being human beings—it’s simple.  SCREAM about skin color—keep it up.  You make it about race.  The author is a fool for swallowing liberal ideology and would probably be one of the sheep that would wear a wristband to remind himself daily of his white privilege.  

Enough already…




Wake up—don’t let apathy rob us of one of the greatest gifts we take for granted.