A Painful Chronic Illness – My Journey

By Marcy Sowers

No one I ever know expects to be debilitated.  No one I have ever met dreams of growing up with an addiction or need for pain medication.  10 years ago I was a physically active, busy single mom.  I raised three children by myself for many years, worked full-time, and didn’t have a moment where I sat down to rest until the end of the day.  I was a substance abuse counselor, and I had become highly proficient at conducting assessments.  I would type the majority of my assessments as I met with my clients and the last full-time position I held was as a substance abuse counselor in a maximum-security prison.

Prior to this I had odd medical issues come up over the years, a lot of back pain, hip pain, weird allergies, hives for no reason (and I am talking full-blown fat lip allergic reaction out of nowhere), migraines, Alopetia Areata.  My back first went out when I was 22 working at the bank.  I bent over to get a tray of coins out of my coin vault, and my back completely went out.  It took a week to recover and that was my first experience with not being able to walk because of my back or joints.

By the time I was 40, I was completely and utterly at a loss for what was going on with me medically.  I spent the next several years trying to figure things out with my doctors (who honestly didn’t delve very deep or, I believe, look at the whole picture.)  Had they given a more detailed look, I might have avoided an auto-fused thoracic spine.  This disease horrifes me when I think of my children and pray to God that none of them end up with the same type of issues I did.  My sister is currently experiencing severe back pain and bone spurs.  I am thankful I am aware of what to look for and can help them if need be.  I went to many specialists, including Virginia Mason in Seattle trying to find some answers to the issues I was having.  The most telling thing from that particular foray into a diagnosis was that I was positive for Anti-Alpha Fodrin IgA (uncommon) and that I had no detectable levels of B2 in my system, which was very for odd for a Western Diet.

My disease fully manifested itself in 2010.  I was not able to walk, and had severe stabbing pain as if a joint was broken.  It didn’t just affect my feet/ankles, but it also affected my hands.  I would find myself unable to hold a cup of coffee or even a fork to eat.  This pain was so debilitating I was at a loss.  I had never been one to sit on the sidelines at my kids’ events.  I was on the go, recently remarried and completely perplexed.  I couldn’t fish anymore, for any length of time.  Sure, we have photos of me fishing, but gone were the days of me holding the fishing rod, fighting the fish to the boat.  I couldn’t do it anymore; I could take a picture and hand off the rod and reel – something I would have never done before.  My joints and my back were even far worse than ever before.  I spent so much time battling pain it consumed my life.

I ended up having my C5-C7 spine fused at the native hospital on 01/31/2013.  The surgeon there told me that if he could he would fuse the entire thing as he could tell the entire neck would deteriorate and it was just a matter of time. After the surgery I followed up with the PA at the native hospital.  Now I will tell you that almost ever appointment I had in the recent years I asked someone to accompany me.  I had become jaded with the care I was receiving and saw too many instances of the clinic utterly failing others.  I somewhat joked that if I could be the Erin Brokovich of native healthcare I would.  And if my body had the energy I would have.  But I had to focus on myself first.  I couldn’t help a single person if I wasn’t in a better place.

The PA told me after my surgery, upon physical examination, that my neck wouldn’t heal if I remained as locked up as I was.  He told me my back muscles felt like cement and my healing wouldn’t improve.  He prescribed a short course of pain medications and a benzodiazepine for muscle relaxation.  I followed through with every recommendation, physical therapy and so forth.  Several months later I was experiencing daily migraines.  I had always been susceptible to migraines but this was out of this world in the experience.  This was daily – crawl away and want to die type of migraines that did not appear to want to go away.  I continued to follow up with the native clinic and wanted answers why this was happening.

I was told that it was simply failed back surgery.  I told the doctor that the pain medication wasn’t helping so he prescribed me Meloxicam.  (Meloxicam is a strong NSAID).  This did nothing to alleviate my pain.  It helped for a very short period of time and I suffered many hours of pain.  I continued to struggle with the migraines.  He gave me one course of valium, which helped my muscles a bit but did nothing to quell the ever-present migraines that were plaguing me, in addition to the joint and back pain I had been suffering for several years now.

Now I could respect my doctor’s concern about opiate addiction; I had seen enough destruction by opiate (heroin and illicit use of opiates) in my career as a substance abuse counselor to be very cautious about the use of these medications.  But I also couldn’t function as a human being with any level of quality of life without some type of pain relief.  I had three children in school, all very busy children and I was running between football, tennis, volleyball, student government meetings and three different schools.  I was also the kind of mom who even in the worst of pain would make a full meal for dinner.  Now I have never been one for packaged meals or pre-made food.  Going to McDonalds was a yearly event for the kids and I.  I refused to give them crap food even when I was in pain.

At one of my earliest doctor appointments about my joint pain, I explained to the PA that I had severe joint pain and swelling, around the joints, but not the joints themselves.  She chastised me and told me it was probably too much sodium in my diet.  That prepared foods contain a lot of sodium.  I was a bit miffed because she assumed that I fed my family a diet full of packaged foods and fast food.  She then insinuated that it was too much soy sauce in my diet.  I was more than perturbed because I had made a conscious effort to not only avoid those things but to limit even soy sauce in our household. We used Bragg’s Amino Acids on our rice.  This was the first time I had really experienced racial stereotyping or racial profiling as it were. aside from people in high school being jerks that I was accepted into Stanford because I was native.

And this was the *native* clinic.  I had so many bad experiences over the years in the native clinic I never went without a witness.  I had seen my friends father be sent home with a stroke with ibuprofen. Thankfully his family took him to the ER instead, and sadly the effects of the stroke lingered and we will never know if it was from lack of rapid response.  I saw my uncle who had just been at the native clinic about a sore on his leg—and sent home—the same day wind up in Intensive Care and ended up staying for a week.  I had been chastised by a PA, for wearing a walking boot when my joint pain was so severe I couldn’t walk.  Normally I had episodes where just one foot was in severe pain but this instance I had both and I couldn’t put pressure unassisted on both of my feet at the same time.  I remember being pushed out of the clinic in a wheelchair crying.  The nurse whispered to me, “Use them if it helps and don’t bother with what she said.”  Several years later I felt “vindicated” by my podiatrist not only giving me two boots to wear and telling me my instinct to wear them was the right treatment but it didn’t do a thing for the shame and pain I suffered for years before.

I cried more hours than you can imagine that year in dealing with the migraines.  We had the opportunity to move to Wasilla due to my husband’s job which was in the Arctic.  He flew back and forth every two weeks from Juneau to Kuparuk, AK, and the cost of the flight to Anchorage was a big one.  We took the chance when our lease needed renewal.  Instead of signing on for one more year we chose to relocate.  We only had one child at home at the time and were happy to stop paying several hundred every month for airfare.  We wanted to purchase a home and the cost of living in Juneau was exorbitant.  So we found a place to rent in the Mat-Su Valley, giving us a year to figure out where in the Valley we truly wanted to live.

During the packing up of our home I threw my back/neck out.  I called my doctor to see if he could see me, but his nurse told me he was away in Italy.  Now anyone who has had to sit at the native clinic knows that if you go in you could be in and out, or you could be sitting in the lobby for hours, especially if you didn’t have a scheduled appointment.  So with the short time period we had I opted to go to the Urgent Care.  The physician there gave me a prescription for one week’s worth of pain medication and muscle relaxers.  I was completely okay with that as I knew that was more than enough time and I could see the native clinic up in Wasilla once we got settled.  Which I promptly did after we arrived and got into our new home.

The native clinic here told me that I wouldn’t be getting my regular medications (Tramadol for pain) any more. I had been deemed by the Opiate Review Board to be a drug seeker.  My going to the Urgent Care prompted a review of me and in it they listed my scheduled follow up appointments with the surgical team as drug-seeking appointments.  Mind you I never asked for pain medication, the PA prescribed them to me based on his assessment after physical examination and told me if I didn’t get the back loosened up it couldn’t heal.  They also said that I had failed UA tests in the past.  I had never been approached about failed UAs.  I know that if they had I could have said what the issue was.  I had battled migraines for several months and had been given prescriptions for pain medication for them.  I almost never used the entire amount prescribed, but saved them for a future migraine. Had I been asked I could have said “Yes I had a few left from my last migraine and took them on a later date.”  I was never told not to do that, and honestly sitting for hours in the native clinic was not the top of my list of things to do in a busy household.  So if I could treat myself and I was using the medication as it was intended, to treat a migraine, not get high, I would have been able to actually explain what happened.  However NOT ONCE did anyone ask me about any of that.

I can say with certainty that this was one of the best forced decisions of my life, to leave the native healthcare system.  They had not looked any further into my neck/back pain.  I was told that Tramadol was a safe medication at the time and honestly it was so horrific to stop I pray that no one I ever care about takes it.  They are uncertain about the mechanism of action in Tramadol; it affects serotonin reuptake and I will never take it again in my life.

I reached out to new physicians and a pain management doctor.  I went in openly and explained how much pain I was in, not only in my joints but in my neck and back.  The doctor was very thorough, explained a lot to me that I had never had explained before, and took my pain seriously.  I had never been one to respond to medications the way most people do and I requested that I get the genetic testing to determine which medications I don’t process.  Lo and behold I was an intermediate metabolizer for two separate CYP categories.  This explained why some pain medications didn’t work or work well for me, why Meloxicam (a very strong NSAID) did nothing.  But more importantly she determined that I did indeed need surgery again on my neck.  So she set out to refer me to a physician.  The first surgeon took one look at my referral and history (now including drug seeker from the native clinic) and didn’t even bother to schedule an appointment to talk to me.

Several months later she found a surgeon to look at my case.  He had MRIs and X-rays taken and met with us.  My C4-C5 had been ruptured, and by the looks of it, had been for a long time.  I had been going to physical therapy and every time my PT would work on me he would need to use a metal bar to help “beat” my muscles into submission to get them to relax.  However quite often I had such severe pain in my neck that I would feel as though I would throw up when they pressed on it.  I lived on Zofran, an anti-nausea medication and I followed everything they told me to do.  The new surgeon, after looking at my completely collapsed disk, which was pressing on my spinal cord, scheduled me in his very next available surgery slot.

When he did the surgery he discovered that a piece of the disk and broken off and was lodged between a nerve and a muscle.  This explained the severe pain any time pressure was placed on that area and why I wanted to throw up. In fact my surgeon told me right then that I “had a very real reason for my pain, it had been that way for a while. This was validation of my complaints, legitimacy to my pain and as bittersweet as it was I still had an incorrect label attached to me

 

The recovery was a long one with my autoimmune issues also rearing themselves.  We discovered that I healed better with steroids involved.  I was finally starting to feel relief and didn’t have the daily migraines.  The native clinic had dismissed me for almost 8 months. I battled another 8 months of daily migraines while trying to establish that I wasn’t full of crap, that I did have legitimate pain and thankfully the surgery taking the disk off my spinal cord gave me the LONG awaited relief I needed.

I continued to have back pain and sharp stabbing pain in my pubic bone.  One of the ways my autoimmune affects me is gastrointestinal issues. I had battled daily chronic diarrhea and I was referred to a surgeon to do a colonoscopy.  The surgeon did an MRI of my abdomen before and the radiologist saw a mass in my mediastinal area.  They rescanned me to get a view of my chest and in it they saw that my thoracic had fused. I had what appeared to be shark fin shaped bone spurs growing everywhere into my lung area.  This led my spinal surgeon to ask my other doctors if I possibly had Ankylosing Spondylitis.  I mean, the spine usually doesn’t fuse, it doesn’t usually create shark fins growing into the spine, and the deterioration and pain in my SI joint and hips all along could be related.

Ultimately I ended up with an Ankylosing Spondylitis diagnosis. This painful chronic disease has no cure.  The standard treatment are NSAIDS and Disease Modifying Drugs or biolgoics, some of which I happen to not metabolize very well (as in I metabolize them far differently than most), and suddenly all things started to become clear.  My back pain started in my twenties and the symptoms I had suffered finally made sense.  Despite years of back problems, strange symptoms the native clinic completely brushed it off.  All the strange autoimmune reactions that I had, pain and swelling, the severe GI tract issues, the water retention – it all fell into place.  I can only imagine what my life would have been like had I been diagnosed and treated early but I really can’t even allow myself that luxury.  The anger would be too great.  I hated the native system for pushing me off as a crackpot, for deeming me an opiate seeker without **even looking** at my spine which was actually pressing on my spinal cord.

I fought a battle that no one took seriously; many providers assumed I was full of shit and didn’t take the pain I was in seriously. I cannot condone their dismissal, nor can I accept that their assumptions which were based on a preponderance of evidence skewed to support the idea that I was indeed a drug seeker.  I have no problem admitting where I’ve had issues and fully accept responsibility for things based on fact and truth. But I have never been addicted to a substance other than nicotine or caffeine. I abused alcohol when I was younger but I stopped that long before I was 25.  If I at any time truly felt I was an addict I would seek treatment. Anyone who truly knows me knows I can’t even drive the wrong way in a parking lot. I’d be such a wreck if I was just out to get high id check myself into treatment.   The worst part for me was that I never even got the chance to be formally evaluated and contest their claims. The funniest part about all this is that given my work experience, had I actually wanted to I could have found drugs outside the medical system, but I never just wanted drugs.  Sure I wanted, and on a humane level deserved relief, but more than anything I wanted answers and appropriate treatment.  But that was not to be had in the native system; I was just another low-life drug-seeking person in their eyes with NO real problem except being overweight, begging for pain meds (not heard begging for answers), and I was pushed in and out without serious thought to the issues.

I worked diligently to show my providers I wasn’t just a drug-seeking addict over the years.  During this we have learned that I can only take certain medications based on my metabolism.  My allergies to things only continue to grow and added to the laundry list of medications that can cause severe allergic reactions you can now add to it adhesives.  The wrong bandage can cause me to feel as though I cannot breathe.  My ribs don’t fully expand either due to the fusion of my thoracic so extra care is taken when I am in surgeries.

The constant pain of my joints and neck are still there.  I had a few years reprieve after the second neck surgery, but back again is the constant and nagging, wearing pain in my neck.  There is some deterioration of my C4-C3 and it bulges slightly. I am afraid that I will end up with my entire neck fused, and actually hope that some of that can relieve some of the pain I live with daily.  I take buprenorphine daily for pain, and it allows me to clean house, make meals, walk the dogs, plant a few flowers.  But this level of pain is something that I live with all the time.  I don’t think I even really know what a life without pain is.  I cannot imagine it. I live with pain so great I think it might drive others mad if they experienced it suddenly without the long build up of pain tolerance that I have had the misfortune of experiencing.

I find myself hating the drug abusers who get high.  I find myself hating that I spent so many years helping people who make it harder for me at this time to get legitimate pain relief.  I hate the very idea of being catalogued into that group.  But guess what?  There is no cataloging of people who live with a very painful chronic illness.  To the world at large we are nothing but drug seekers.  Cancer pain, is the only real pain that people who sufferers it deserve treatment.  Having battled both cancer and chronic pain I can tell you that – pain is pain.  It didn’t matter what kind of pain it was—it still hurt.  But apparently one is legitimate and the other well—is just something people should suck up and deal with.  I have battled and fought cancer myself.  I spent months being dismissed with extreme fatigue, change in my bowels, change in my mood, body temperature, blood pressure and I had cancer all along.   But the labels from the past just follow you and don’t lend themselves to being taken seriously—until someone else discovers a tumor growing.

These painful illnesses affect everyone in our lives, our spouses, our children, family and friends.  We do not have a world of folk advocating for us.  We have ourselves, armed with the knowledge of our diseases and essentially are overlooked in the massive push for legislation and market reforms.  Insurance companies dictate who, what are how we are treated based on formulas and denials abound.  We fight these things on a daily basis and there is no outcry to help us.  We are treated the very same way opiate addicts on the street are by many.  This makes little to no sense to me.  I used to be appalled at the idea of “death panels” but they do exist, death by a thousand cuts—this med is no longer approved, one is approved but denied later and guess what? Interruption of that medication can sometimes result in the loss of efficacy.  So that denial was effective in stopping an expensive treatment that was working leaving me with a search for another.  We do have to fight for every ounce of care.  There is not one person I know who has been affected by a painful chronic illness that wouldn’t trade it all in for health, the ability to work every day and no pain.  But we do not have the choice or the luxury.

There are many people with debilitating chronic illnesses that get lumped into the same categories as people who use pain medication for recreation, to soothe their psychological pain and simply because they love the high.  I have never “loved” the high-I resented having a need for the medication to function and there was no pleasure in it, only relief of pain.  The only thing I have ever wanted was a bit of relief from the incessant pain in my body.  There is no greater loss than the loss of self-worth and you can imagine that battle is one that someone who is ill must fight all the time.  What I wouldn’t give to go back 15 years, and even with back pain, I’d love to remember what it is like to go all day and night without stopping, without constant pain.  My former life has been stripped away from me and it is something I had to grieve and mourn and come to terms with where I am now.  I don’t want to be here but I have no choice, and the only choice I have is to make do with every day and do the best I can.

This fight is a real one and I am so very tired.  Who will take up the cause?  Who cares enough to fight for people who have to fight to get out of bed every day, when we have to chose between vacuuming or cooking dinner as the extent of our abilities for the day?  When showering is too much physical pain to consider, but we do it anyway because of course we have to.  We are seen as lazy drains on society.  Our loved ones look at us differently.  We lose so much of who we are, the dreams we planned, and it takes it’s toll.  We lose more things than just our physical abilities.  We lose the things everyone takes for granted.  I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.  But I haven’t given up and I will keep up the fight as long as I am able.  Human strength comes in many forms and I hope I never lose mine.

IRS and Fat Camps

So I am wondering a few things.  Will the IRS now be the collector of proof of Indian Blood. So I will have to show to the IRS my CIB (Certificate of Indian Blood) as well as those for my children.  Are they going to cross check the BIA rolls?  I wonder how many are trying to falsely get their CIB now?  Will I have to every year prove I am a native with every tax return or will once be enough?

Have you ever seen a BIA CIB?  I sure as S%^# hope that they are cross checking with the BIA and tribes to verify enrollment.  Will there be a sudden surge of Indian identity theft or outright falsification by thugs trying to avoid the “tax”?  I wonder if there will be a sudden surge in folks claiming that they are Amish?

I wonder what Elizabeth Warren will do?  Will her cookbook suffice as evidence enough?

Gee, I wonder what other proof they will require from us?

It is my understanding, I could be wrong… that the US Preventative Task Force will determine what is covered care for preventative services under the new health care plan.

The U.S. Preventative Task Force updated their website in June to show:

Release Date: June 2012

• The USPSTF recommends screening all adults for obesity. Clinicians should offer or refer patients with a body mass index (BMI) of 30 kg/m² or higher to intensive, multicomponent behavioral interventions.
  Grade: B Recommendation.

Furthermore their fact sheet goes on to say:

“Obesity is a very serious health problem in the United States, and in the past 30 years, obesity rates have dramatically increased,” said Task Force member David Grossman, M.D., M.P.H. “The good news is that even modest weight loss can reduce health risks for people who are obese. And, there is strong scientific evidence that shows that intensive programs with 12 to 26 sessions in the first year can help people manage their weight.”

So will this be the start of fat camps?  What if you don’t listen to the recommendation?  Who will run these fat camps?  They will be covered by preventative care, is this a one time deal?  What if you gain the weight back?  What if you don’t lose weight?  Will there be any penalties or consequences (aside from the obvious health associated risks)?

Will individuals with PCOS and thyroid conditions be exempt from the fat camps?  Oh I just imagine the flow charts to manage our care will be endless!

Until Next Time!

SCOTUS Decision, War on Women and Indian Healthcare?

I haven’t written in a while, mostly I think because I have been disenchanted and just reading the news instead of writing about it.

I read some interesting things today.  One of the most interesting things I read came from a blog from fellow Alaskans.

“Today’s ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court on the Affordable Care Act means that critical new benefits for women remain intact.”

The writer lauds this:

Planned Parenthood of the Pacific Northwest released a statement this morning stating that under today’s ruling, millions of women will have access to birth control without a co-pay starting in 2012—protecting their health, making their reproductive choice more affordable, and reducing infant mortality rates if and when they do decide to have children.

What I don’t get, is how this reduces infant mortality rates?  If anything to me this sends the message that it’s okay to go out and get jiggy with it.  That it is the right of everyone, including young teens to go have sex, and it’s their RIGHT to have contraception provided to them by the tax payers.  It doesn’t say anything to me about personal responsibility, like “Hmmm I can’t afford condoms, and if I got pregnant now I wouldn’t be able to afford the baby either.  I guess I better not fool around.”  But let’s get back to infant mortality rates…

I guess it all depends on who you consider an infant. You see, at Planned Parenthood they don’t consider an unborn child an infant who could be considered in their mortality rates, because it hasn’t taken it’s first breath yet.  So the babies that are slaughtered in their clinics under the term “abortion” can’t be counted in the mortality rates, now could they?

Most medical authorities, including Planned Parenthood, agree that it becomes a baby after birth when it takes its first breath.

Guess a beating heart doesn’t count?  I saw this on Facebook and totally agreed with it.  What do you think?

Yet others have blogged about, and I agree with them, then why on earth could a person who murders a pregnant woman be charged with double homicide?  I guess it just depends on who decides when life starts?

Speaking of who decides things.  I was doing some reading on the U.S. Preventative Services Task Force.  Which will determine preventative care under Obamacare.  Now lets just see how this fares in regards to women…

Summary of Recommendations

Screening Men

• The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) strongly recommends screening men aged 35 and older for lipid disorders.  
  Grade: A Recommendation.
• The USPSTF recommends screening men aged 20 to 35 for lipid disorders if they are at increased risk for coronary heart disease.
  Grade: B Recommendation.

Screening Women at Increased Risk

• The USPSTF strongly recommends screening women aged 45 and older for lipid disorders if they are at increased risk for coronary heart disease.  
  Grade: A Recommendation.
• The USPSTF recommends screening women aged 20 to 45 for lipid disorders if they are at increased risk for coronary heart disease.
  Grade: B Recommendation.

Screening Young Men and All Women Not at Increased Risk

• The USPSTF makes no recommendation for or against routine screening for lipid disorders in men aged 20 to 35, or in women aged 20 and older who are not at increased risk for coronary heart disease.
  Grade: C Recommendation.

Now… did you notice that they only recommend screening WOMEN 45 and older IF they are at increased risk?  But they recommend screening MEN age 35 and older.  YET… the CDC itself states:

Heart disease and stroke are among the most widespread and costly health problems facing our nation today, even though they are also among the most preventable. Heart disease and stroke are leading causes of death for both women and men.

And I did a bit more research on this matter.  I found this little bit of info:

MYTH #3: Only older women have heart disease.

TRUTH: Heart disease threatens all women, even those as young as 30 and 40.For example, the rate of sudden cardiac death of women in their 30s and 40s is increasing much faster than in men their same age—rising 21 percent in the 1990s.[2]

So where is the outrage on the war against women?  *crickets*

The U.S. Preventative Task Force also does not recommend teaching women to do a monthly self breast exam anymore.  Yet breastcancer.org has this to say:

“New guidelines recommending that women not perform breast self-examinations (BSEs) could seriously endanger women’s health and lead to later detection of cancers in some women,” says Marisa Weiss, M.D., president and founder of Breastcancer.org and a leading breast cancer oncologist. “These guidelines do not reflect a new point of view, but they are still very bad advice.”

So if you want to consider the SCOTUS decision a win… a victory if you will, for women.  I think you are misguided.  If you want to consider it a win for the American people I think you are also wrong.  Our debt cannot bear the burden of such a program first of all.  Secondly, the system will become overwhelmed with people seeking their FREE care for things that they might not have gone to the doctor for.  When it becomes “FREE” clinics will be full of people seeking care for every little ache and pain, clinics will be overwhelmed triaging real medical necessity and the “cough cough” ill.  The providers will become jaded, begin to treat every patient as a “cough cough” patient and before you know it your FREE healthcare really sucks.

Just have a go at Indian Health Services if you don’t believe me.  Just say you are from Elizabeth Warren’s tribe, worked for her, should work for you right?  No need to show ID or proof here, right?  So, if you could get into IHS care, you might find that it’s not all that it’s what it’s cracked up to be, this free healthcare, and a lot of real illness get overlooked or missed, a lot of “cough cough” illnesses see to destroying providers ability to give two *coughs* and some people even end up dead.  But no ones complaining about that now are they, because it’s all free right?  Oh wait, complaints might be made but they fall on deaf ears.  Besides, there is not a big enough constituency of these IHS recipients to make a difference in the polls anyhow.  I guess when it is the general populace the constituent pool would be bigger, but we aren’t looking at that now are we??

Another day that will live in infamy…

Today, our elected officials took a giant leap toward socialist rule in the United States of America.

What true American is not disgusted?

What true American does not see this is socialism in our land, thrust upon us by the electorate that refuses to listen?

What true American disagrees that health care could be improved?

For years I have stuck to the belief that I can be bi-partisan and vote on issues and not on party lines.  I suppose the one thing the Democrats have done, in addition to Sunday Bloody Sunday, is either made me a staunch Republican or ready to join arms with the Tea Party.  I have yet to decide but it’s one of the two.  At this point I will support both of them just to be rid of the Democrat socialist bull.

The liberal has taken deep root in our educational system.  The liberal influence in our educational system is ridiculous.  The moral decay of our country abounds, yet is it more heinous to have “under God” in the pledge?  But it’s okay to have books that talk about sex with 5th graders?  Global warming as part of their education?  I cannot wait to read my daughter’s social studies book with her next year and tell her the whole truth.  Something they surely won’t do.  You cannot escape liberal socialist ideals in Academia.  Ideals are one thing and good to aspire to, but not at the expense of the truth.  How many of you can name instances where ignoring mistakes in history led to repeating them?

With Freddy and Fannie, and now student loans in the government’s back pocket things in the financial aspect is not looking up either.  Unemployment continues to be high 10.4% in February 2010.  I guess Obama is looking to fill 16,000 jobs within the IRS.  What kind of Americans sign up for that job?  Hmmm desperate people who are about to lose their homes and where 1 in 10 are unemployed.  It is fortunate for Obama and his ilk that the liberal have some chattel to choose from.  They will get their good government job.  They will penalize us for not signing up for nationalized healthcare through the most terrifying federal agency the IRS.  The IRS can freeze your bank accounts, take what it wants, take your home and possessions and I don’t know about you, but I have heard how understanding they are through the whole process too.

So how many people are going to be imprisoned for failing to pay their healthcare tax?  What are they going to do with these people?  If I could not pay, would I be put in the only prison available in my community, a maximum security prison where I worked?  Or, would they have to devise some other forms of incarceration?  My mind goes to internment camps and detention facilities specially created to hold the new sort of criminal – the resistor.

Non-profit organizations like Acorn.  I don’t think I need to type more about that.  How about the Czars?

Now, thanks to our electorate, the deemocrats will soon to be rooted in our doctor’s offices.  The government’s miserable failure of Medicaid, the VA healthcare system and Indian Health Services were just not enough.  They have to fail on a grand level – but this is not just a small segment of the population.  It will hit home when grandma is not deemed young enough to save, when preventative care is deemed unnecessary and when it is deemed that there are no surgical times available for a child who is in need of an appendectomy.  At that point, when personally affected and the realization sinks in–it will be too late.  The giant cogs will be crushing along in their slow governmental way.

So, it is for this and many other reasons I will support anyone who has the moxie to stand up to them.  I eagerly await the law suits and I know that many others do too.  I won’t deny that I won’t relish elections come November.  I will be eating popcorn with gobs of butter and salt, if that’s still legal, and cheering on conservative Republicans or Tea Party Patriots take out the Democrats.

This speech came from one of our Presidents…

It is to be regretted that the rich and powerful too often bend the acts of government to their selfish purposes. Distinctions in society will always exist under every just government. Equality of talents, of education, or of wealth can not be produced by human institutions.

~Andrew Jackson, 07/10/1832

So for the sheep, chattel and plain old ignorant… you role is to improve yourselves.  Your right is to be allowed the pursuit of happiness, not to be handed everything you believe you deserve.

Our forefathers did not have things handed to them, they made this country great.  Look at communism and where it led.  Look at soft-socialist countries and their medical horrors that the liberals won’t acknowledge.

Are you ready to do your part?  Now is not the time to roll over and say “there’s nothing I can do.”

Y

Begich – My Husband’s letter to him

Just figured I’d share this tidbit of correspondence.  I can’t imagine he’d get a response actually addressing his concerns.  Begich makes it a habit of completely ignoring his constituents comments, unless they agree with his position.  (My previous emails and his responses are case and point).

Dear Senator Begich,

I just read your comments in today’s Anchorage Daily News regarding health care. I take issue with your comment: “I think we’ve had enormous floor debate that’s been public and transparent.”

I agree that there has been public floor debate, however, I don’t consider anything in the entire process to have been transparent, as far as how the bill will actually affect everyday Americans. As a registered independent voter from the State of Alaska, I believe your comments, although they adhere to your party’s idea of transparency, to be somewhat less than opaque. I’m sure I don’t need to go into detail as to why I believe your comment is disingenuous at best, and actually approaches reprehensibility. Town hall meetings, emails and phone calls notwithstanding

This health care bill is an absolute monstrosity, in my opinion, and although I know you plan to vote for it, I am compelled to share my opinion and this last item: I assure you that come the next election cycle when the Republicans nominate someone to run against you, my support, both financially and otherwise, will be behind your opponent. For no other reason than that you will have voted Yes for the most insidious piece of legislation I’ve ever seen Congress actually vote on.

Regards,

Mark Sowers

Proud to be married to this man, an American and look forward to being part of some hope and change we can believe in, the next election and many more thereafter!

Until Next Time!

Y

Pelosi – Dodging the call

I do my duty to make my voice heard.  I call my Senators, Congressmen.

What did I do this morning with my first few sips of morning coffee before I start my day?  I took a minute to call Nancy Pelosi’s office.

The phone was answered by a staff person, “Speaker’s Office, how can I help you.”  I explained that I was calling to voice my concern and that I was in opposition to the health care legislation.”  The voice on the end of the line “Hold on.”

I was suddenly transferred to a voice mail system.  “This is Nancy Pelosi’s office blah blah blah.  Please state your concerns blah blah blah BEEP”

I think our country is in a world of hurt when the administration and congress are ignoring the Constitution of the United States, destroying our economy with burgeoning debt AND they won’t even take a minute to hear your concerns.  Their jobs, are to work for the people of the United States, as outlined in the Constitution, but wait a minute, I guess that’s the problem.  You want to fundamentally change the United States, just ignore the Constitution, keep pretending that you are doing everything in a copacetic way and maybe they won’t notice, right?  WE NOTICE…

At this rate, people will be fed up long before election day comes around. What is it going to take to really enrage the American people?  I am sad to say that we may just find out, something I never thought I’d never have to witness in my lifetime.

Are you tired yet???  Please leave a comment.

Until Next Time, Y

Mr. Begich…

My email today to Mark Begich, the senator from Alaska.  I’ll call too.

Mr. Begich,

I am writing as your constituent to demand that you vote no to the health care legislation.

Your vote will dramatically affect your political career in Alaska.  I will personally contribute some of my income to any party running against you or the Democratic party.  I will devote my time to any such campaign against you or the democratic party as well.  I had a great time making phone calls for Scott Brown.

I, like so many people, have had enough  force feeding of the health care issue.  I agree health care is a concern.  It falls under individual states to address issues not outlined in the constitution , not the federal government.

I demand that before you vote on any piece of health care legislation you READ it out loud to your constituents in Alaska, via television and radio.  Heck we have streaming audio as we are a very connected state.  You explain in detail how you agree with each piece of the legislation.  Sounds like a lot of work?  Well, that’s your job.

Care to meet and discuss it with me?

Marcy Sowers

I am fed up…

Endorsed by Saul?

Why do so many people embrace “The end justifies the means” philosophy in politics and life?  Bending the rules or circumventing a well delineated process, to suit your purpose is an ethical violation; Believing you are right does not give you the excuse to break the law, unless you are certain elected officials & then Machiavelli (or Saul Alinsky) reigns supreme in your philosophy & you use it justify what you do.  Endorsed by Saul… Feel better now?  Still doesn’t make it right nor tolerable.

The Obama administration and the Democratic party have been transparent in their deception, their “great community organizer” is following true to form and I am so pleased to see so many American people angry at their manipulations.  They might have a majority, despite lack of popular majority.  They don’t even have the courtesy to use vaseline with their cornhusker kickbacks.  Smile, “it’s good for you and what you need.”  It is duly noted and people are pissed.

I don’t agree with what is going on in this country, and a LOT of people I talk to don’t either.  Including Idaho… Congratulations Idaho!  I applaud you and any other state that has the balls to stand up to this administration and defend the United States Constitution.

I think Rush or Glenn Beck and any other person who has the means to organize the American people in defending the constitution should do so.

You say you’ll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it’s the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain’t going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don’t you know it’s gonna be all right
all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
all right, all right, all right

What do you think?

I did not call for…

I called Mark Begich’s office in Juneau this week.  I called to tell the dutiful aide, knowing that Begich would not be available to speak to, that I opposed the proposed healthcare legislation that Obama and the Democratic party were continuing to ram down the throats of the American people.

The dutiful aide asked what I, in particular, I was opposed to.  I asked him if he had a few hours.

I then proceeded to explain how I did not support the healthcare legislation.

The dutiful aide provided me with the standard leftist baloney and I just had to interrupt him.  I stated:

“I did not call to hear the democratic rhetoric, I called to tell you, as a constituent, I oppose the president’s healthcare legislation.”

I have been watching the news, reading articles and working with my children.

We watched Glenn Beck the other night, the topic was education and how the left has infiltrated the educational system and is trying to indoctrinate our children.

I am concerned.  I am very glad that my children do not see the way others in their generation see things.

Education is indeed a privilege and not a right.

My duty, as a parent, is to see that my children are educated.  I pay my local and federal taxes to ensure they are educated, but that’s not where my duty ends.  I am responsible for educating my children and for teaching them to question what they are presented with.  My daughter failed a test on climate change, she is a straight A student.  She doesn’t believe in Good Ole Al’s Global Warming.  Just like I don’t believe in government run healthcare!

I read a Facebook post by someone I know.  Who stated “??? I am native, why here in homer, i can not get free health care?? like nome or anchoarage?”

I wrote back, “Certain communities have health care services for native people. However, health care is never free, someone, somewhere pays the price!”

I have stopped attending the native clinic here.  The reason?  I get what I pay for.  Invest nothing, receive crap. I would only use that as a LAST resort.   Like welfare, which is meant to be used as a last resort.

Where’s my piece of the pie? I hear things like that all the time–it is unfortunately the message that is being thrown out there in overt and unseen ways.  The overall message reeks.  What happened to the world I grew up in?  What happened to strong moral grounds and dedication and hard work?

50 years ago, we earned it… with hard work and perseverance.   We did not get to be the greatest nation without elbow grease!  It wasn’t handed to us because we deserved it!  It was not our birthright!  It was a result of hard work.

We are not guaranteed a college education, healthcare OR happiness.  The pursuit of happiness is guaranteed by the Constitution.  We can work to achieve it.  The belief of so many these days, is that we deserve things to which the left wing wants us to believe, at the expense of the greatness of America.  I’d much rather live in a country where it is POSSIBLE to have good healthcare, to have the chance at making a reasonable living, the chance to live in a country with the freedom of speech, the right to vote and the pursuit of happiness.

I am tired of this world that accepts so freely the disgusting display of immorality, insincerity, unethical behavior and where duty is something that the government dictates, not the morals of society.

The rich don’t make the world evil, the big corporations don’t either.  The message that society has accepted and allowed has promoted the degeneration of our society.  Silence betokens consent.  Why are people not screaming about commercials that depict the prelude to a threesome, aired during prime time as the family watches a television show?  What parent thinks that is acceptable?

Commercials make me sick these days.  With a few exceptions.  The kind of commercials like the ones for values.com commercials are too few and far between.

We are losing our moral rudder.  All in the name of political correctness.  God is forbidden in schools, on buildings yet our government is protecting the terrorists that threatened our very lives?

I dream of a day that the moral compass of this country is righted.  Where hard work and perseverance can make a difference.  Where the word of a person is his/her bond.  Where the good nature of people kicks in, instead of the government telling us what we should all have, do, believe in and teach our children.

I did NOT call to be ignored and that message will be clearly sent next election day!

Until Next Time, tell me what you think!

Y

Hope and Change–Who would have thought?

Hello everyone…

I have been giving some thought to a few things.

Number ONE–During Obama’s campaign he promised many things.  Many things that he has not followed through with or that were downright lies.

Bipartisan my #%@!!!!

What I am seeing that is more amazing than anything.  People who don’t even agree, agree on one thing.  Things in Washington D.C. have to change.

I got an email from someone, who talked about joining a tea party protest.  She is 50 years old and realized that she enjoyed standing up for something she believed in and was willing to protest for.

Now I am a self-avowed conservative, non-partisan person.  I have gone from being disillusioned that ordinary people cannot make a difference, to realizing that the only thing that is going to save our country.  Ordinary people making a difference.   I have hope that ordinary people can change the direction of our country.

There is still a measure of “real” America out there, much larger than was originally thought.  The leftist agenda can scream “Right Wing Radicals” all they want.   How RADICAL is it when so many want the same thing?  You could call their socialist agenda radical.

It all goes back to one thing-a mission.

Our mission, is the pursuit of happiness.  Our instruction manual is the Constitution.  When actions are not in line with the mission, it is evident because things just don’t work right.  Things are horribly wrong in America, but not to the point that we will not stand up for it.  If things are tough, we can come through it–provided we are fighting for the America we have in the past.  The United States of America has stumbled but it is not laying down.  Our leaders may have forgotten ethics, the “mission” we believe in but be rest assured, we have not!  The Constitution states we are guaranteed the “pursuit of happiness,” it does not state we are guaranteed happiness.  It is not the right of every American to have everything taken care of for them.  However, we do have the right to pursue happiness, and the current agenda in Washington, D.C. is seriously hampering that right.  Are you tired of it yet?  Has the smoke cleared, a few mirrors broken?

I have a feeling that many more will come together in honor of that true mission–abiding by the manual.

Are you ready for change you can be PART of?  Change you can be proud to say you stood up for?

Until Next Time!

Y